Feb 2004

Amusement on #haskell

14:48 < Pseudonym> Riastradh: With a mind like that… ever considered a career as a C++ luminary?
14:48 * Riastradh throws a pointy template at Pseudonym.
14:49 * Pseudonym carefully places it in a smart pointer container
14:49 * SyntaxLaptop frees it
14:49 * Riastradh dereferences Pseudonym.
14:50 < SyntaxLaptop> sorry, delete
14:50 < Pseudonym> Why do I feel like I’ve suddenly accessed some of my uninitialised memory?
14:50 * Riastradh unsafePerformIOs Pseudonym.
14:51 < DeezNuts> just trying to run the prebuilt version of ghc 5.04.3 it bitches that it can’t find “libgmp.so.3:”
14:51 * Pseudonym FFIs Riastradh
14:51 < DeezNuts> err thats “libgmp.so.3”
14:51 < Pseudonym> Do you have GMP installed?
14:51 * Riastradh DEFINE-FOREIGNs Pseudonym.
14:52 * Pseudonym reinterpret_cast<>()s Riastradh
14:52 * Riastradh Obj.magics Pseudonym.
14:52 * Pseudonym GOTOs Riastradh
14:52 < Pseudonym> Riastradh considered harmful.
14:52 * Riastradh reflects Pseudonym.
14:53 * Pseudonym reifies Riastradh
14:53 * Riastradh shifts Pseudonym with no reset in place to delimit the shift.
14:53 < Pseudonym> Careful with all my bits.
14:53 * Riastradh converts Pseudonym to base three!
14:54 * Pseudonym pushbacks Riastradh
14:54 < DeezNuts> blah
14:54 < DeezNuts> could u explain?
14:54 < Pseudonym> Careful with my trits!s
14:54 * Riastradh throws Pseudonym.
14:54 * Pseudonym raises Riastradh
14:54 * Riastradh signals Pseudonym.
14:54 < DeezNuts> fine! linux-ppc won’t be getting a build
14:55 * Pseudonym kills Riastradh
14:55 < jameson> This is getting just a bit surreal… at least no one has used pointer arithmetics or ‘memfrob()’ yet…
14:55 < jameson> DeezNuts: Well, you have to install libgmp.
14:55 ! monotonom [trebla@] has quit [“Do not join the channels joined by all who join all channels you join.”]
14:55 < jameson> It should be a dependency for the ghc package.
14:55 < Pseudonym> jameson: How dare you suggest such a thing.
14:55 * Riastradh throws himself and unsafely kills Pseudonym’s thread.
14:55 < Pseudonym> memfrob() is banned by the Geneva Convention
14:56 * Pseudonym cancels Riastradh’s thread and reaps his zombie children
14:56 * Riastradh throws across a process boundary and terminates Pseudonym’s process with a SIGSEGV.
14:56 * jameson makes sure that his lambda lifter and CPS converter are fully charged, just in case
14:57 * Pseudonym marshals Riastradh down a pipe and maps him to anonymous memory
14:57 * Riastradh incrementally lambda-lifts jameson before he gets to put his inferiour lambda-lifter into action.
14:57 * Riastradh comes out the other end of the pipe in yet another process and ANF-transforms Pseudonym.
14:57 < jameson> Keep playing guys, but keep in mind: No side effects on my memory!
14:57 * Pseudonym unsafeCasts jameson
14:58 * Riastradh throws into the kernel and twiddles jameson’s memory carefully.
14:58 * Pseudonym transfers Riastradh’s control over a superblock boundary
14:58 * Riastradh traps Pseudonym into one process, having full access to the kernel, and patches the scheduler so it doesn’t transfer control to that process ever.
14:59 < Etaoin> pwned
14:59 * Riastradh jumps down into the firmware, off into a firewire cable, emerges from a nearby hard drive, and unplugs the firewire cable, causing a kernel panic.
14:59 < Riastradh> HAH!
14:59 * Pseudonym loads a modular scheduler from flash and disables all interrupt threads
15:00 < Pseudonym> You forgot I was running Solaris, didn’t you?
15:00 * Riastradh picks up a sledgehammer and blowtorch and turns the computer upon which Pseudonym is barely staying alive into a pile of beaten slag.
15:01 * Pseudonym transfers himself to a different NUMA node to recover before disabling Riastradh’s processor set
15:01 * Pseudonym severs the backplane connection just in case
15:01 * Riastradh was reified, so he is no longer constrained to the internals of a computer.
15:02 * Pseudonym insert a nonassociative morphism into Riastradh’s category
15:02 < Riastradh> AAAAAGH!
15:02 < Pseudonym> Now you’re inconsistent!
15:02 * Riastradh helplessly slumps to the floor…
15:02 < Pseudonym> Haha!
15:02 * Riastradh paws about for any weapon with which to retaliate…
15:02 < Pseudonym> You thought being abstract would save you.
15:02 * Riastradh picks up a monad and a comonad…hmmm…I wonder what happens when I cross the, er, duals.
15:03 < Pseudonym> No! DON’T CROSS THE DUALS!
15:03 * SyntaxLaptop tosses Riastradh an arrow
15:03 < Pseudonym> That comonad is unsafe!
15:03 < SyntaxLaptop> s/tosses/throws
15:04 * Riastradh straps the comonad onto one side of the arrow and the monad onto the other, and throws it at Pseudonym.
15:04 * Riastradh homomorphisizes Pseudonym!
15:04 * Riastradh uhohs as he realizes that that attack wasn’t sufficient.
15:04 * Pseudonym left-cancels the arrow
15:05 * Riastradh hides under a catamorphic syntamorphism.
15:05 * Pseudonym retracts the monad, but realises too late that it’s idempotent
15:05 * Riastradh plots coalgebraically while Pseudonym cannot find him.
15:06 * Pseudonym searches for Riastradh on an endomap
15:07 * Pseudonym flips off the safety on a terminal object
15:07 * Riastradh whets an eslupherum as he monofunctorializes his handy exomorph.
15:08 * SyntaxLaptop eats some syntactic sugar
15:08 * Riastradh watches with revulsion as SyntaxLaptop gets semicolon cancer.
15:11 * Riastradh qopas Pseudonym and stuffs him into a monadic canister, sealed tightly with a polyfunctorialism disguised as a monofunctorialized exomorph!
15:11 * Pseudonym claims this channel in the name of Free Constructions
15:12 * Riastradh forces coalgebra upon Pseudonym so that his constructor fails.
15:12 * Pseudonym gets out through a safe destructor
15:12 * Riastradh duals Pseudonym so both his constructor and destructor fail.
15:13 * Pseudonym hops on a natural transformation into a free functor
15:14 * Riastradh impales that free functor with an extrintolphoric arrow.
15:15 * Pseudonym stops the arrow with a terminal object
15:15 * Riastradh terminates Pseudonym’s terminal object and lets the arrow continue.
15:16 * Pseudonym turns it around with a contravariant functor
15:16 * Riastradh cocontravaries Pseudonym’s functor, negating the effect completely.
15:16 < sam-> oh god make it stop
15:16 * Pseudonym adjuncts it into the Herbrand universe
15:17 * Riastradh discojuncts Pseudonym hyperbolically.
15:17 < Pseudonym> Ooh, kinky.
15:18 < Riastradh> An irrelevant statement! I win!
15:18 * Pseudonym traps Riastradh under a cocone
15:18 * Riastradh treaps Pseudonym in a cacao bean.
15:18 < Pseudonym> Never! Irrelevancy is always part of the game.
15:19 * Riastradh catamorphs Pseudonym into a simple seed!
15:21 * Pseudonym notes the seed is isomorphic to a human, so what’s the big deal?
15:21 * Riastradh squishes it and ends the big deal, having triumphed.
15:22 * Pseudonym notes the gooey mess is isomorphic to a large cauldron of boiling oil
15:23 * Riastradh takes it off of the burner and then dips chips in it to enhance their flavour.